Vitamin Water, thanks for the message.

Its a good feeling to come home to a beeping phone displaying: New Messages. You feel the love. People take the time to call you, see how you're doing, to hang out, or just say hello. I love having phone messages.

That all changed today as I dialed into my mailbox today. What transpires is an approx. of what I heard:

Phone: "You have one new message."

Voice: "Wat up dis is fitty cent."

Me: "No way......Does he want to hang out, get some weight lifting tips, share a bullet proof vest?"

50: "I know when I get tired, I needs to recharge my battrys."

Me: "Ok.... I understand life can be tough, everyone gets tired. How can I help fifty?"

50: "Thats when I reach for Vitamin Water. Its got all da best stuff to keep you going. G...G...G...G...Goodbye!"

Me: "...................."Bye?"........ *click*

What happened 50? You let me down. I thought we were going to be friends, hang out, life some weights, write some sick radical lyrics for your dope new jam, but instead you call to tell me that you have a new Vitamin Water flavor. Poor form Mr. Cent.

Samuel L Jackson once called me at 9 am on a sunday to tell me that I should take my "broke ass down on the bus to go see Snakes on a Plane." I went, hated the movie, but love the message I got. I still laugh about it.

So 50, I know you gots to get paid, those bullet proof vest dont come cheap, but please think up some better lines to get me to buy your crap. Click.......